Miscellaneous
A real conversation with my previous boss.
Boss: What's up?
Me: Ceiling.
Boss: No, besides that.
Me: My spirits.
Boss: That was not very smart.
Me: I agree.
Boss: So what's up?
Me: The fan.
Boss: Besides the fan, ceiling and your spirits.you idiot.
Me: Hmm..the pealing plaster?
Boss: Did not see that one coming. What is up.besides the ceiling, fan, your spirits and the pealing plaster?
Me: Nothing much.
Boss: How about work?
Me: Yeah that is happening.
Boss: What is happening?
Me: The work.
Boss: What work?
Me: The usual work.
Boss: What usual work?
Me: The usual stuff.
Boss: What usual stuff?
Me: You know.the works.
Boss: Let me put it straight.what is the work you have been doing sitting here for the whole of last week, which you can show me, and claim to be good for the company?
Me: That's not a very straight question.
Boss: Why?
Me: You are indirectly asking me if I was of any worth to the company.
Boss: Good you got the indirect meaning of my direct question.
Me: You could have been direct.
Boss: I thought I was direct.
Me: So are you going to sack me?
Boss: Yes.
Me: I have no problems. I have this brother of mine. who is a good worker.would fit right into my profile.would you want him to come for an interview tomorrow?
Boss: Sure.
Me: Thought you should know.he is my identical twin. Only thing he doesn't have a moustache.
Boss: Sure, ask him to meet me tomorrow.
Me: Sure. You are a smart boss. By the way, do you know a barbershop nearby?
Time management
How many times have you found yourself, just saying, if had more time, I could have completed more. Time management is an important concept. If we do not know to manage time, we will be wasting time in lot of unwanted activities while the important activities don't get a chance. Here is an important article about Time Management for windows managers. Should be relevant to all IT professionals.
Have you touched someone's life today
When I was quite young, my father had one of the first telephones in our neighborhood. I remember the polished, old case fastened to the wall. The shiny receiver hung on the side of the box. I was too little to reach the telephone, but used to listen with fascination when my mother talked to it. Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an amazing person. Her name was "Information Please" and there was nothing she did not know. Information Please could supply anyone's number and the correct time. My personal experience with the genie-in-a-bottle came one day while my mother was visiting a neighbor. Amusing myself at the tool bench in the basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer, the pain was terrible, but there seemed no point in crying because there was no one home to give sympathy. I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving at the stairway. The telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the parlor and dragged it to the landing. Climbing up, I unhooked the receiver in the parlor and held it to my ear. "Information, please" I said into the mouthpiece just above my head. A click or two and a small clear voice spoke into my ear. "Information." "I hurt my finger..." I wailed into the phone, the tears came readily enough now that I had an audience. "Isn't your mother home?" came the question. "Nobody's home but me," I blubbered. "Are you bleeding?" the voice asked. "No," I replied. "I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts." "Can you open the icebox?" she asked. I said I could. "Then chip off a little bit of ice and hold it to your finger," said the voice. After that, I called "Information Please" for everything. I asked her for help with my geography, and she told me where Philadelphia was. She helped me with my math. She told me my pet chipmunk that I had caught in the park just the day before, would eat fruit and nuts. Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary, died. I called, Information Please," and told her the sad story. She listened, and then said things grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I was not consoled. I asked her, "Why is it that birds should sing so beautifully and bring joy to all families, only to end up as a heap of feathers on the bottom of a cage?" She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, "Paul always remember that there are other worlds to sing in." Somehow I felt better. Another day I was on the telephone, "Information Please." "Information," said in the now familiar voice. "How do I spell fix?" I asked. All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest. When I was nine years old, we moved across the country to Boston. I missed my friend very much. "Information Please" belonged in that old wooden box back home and I somehow never thought of trying the shiny new phone that sat on the table in the hall. As I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood conversations never really left me. Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity I would recall the serene sense of security I had then. I appreciated now how patient, understanding, and kind she was to have spent her time on a little boy.
A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in Seattle. I had about a half-hour or so between planes. I spent 15 minutes or so on the phone with my sister, who lived there now. Then without thinking what I was doing, I dialed my hometown operator and said, "Information Please." Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well. "Information." I hadn't planned this, but I heard myself saying, "Could you please tell me how to spell fix?" There was a long pause. Then came the soft spoken answer, "I guess your finger must have healed by now." I laughed, "So it's really you," I said. "I wonder if you have any idea how much you meant to me during that time?" I wonder," she said, "if you know how much your call meant to me. I never had any children and I used to look forward to your calls." I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and I asked if I could call her again when I came back to visit my sister. "Please do", she said. "Just ask for Sally." Three months later I was back in Seattle. A different voice answered, "Information." I asked for Sally. "Are you a friend?" she said. "Yes, a very old friend," I answered. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this," she said. "Sally had been working part-time the last few years because she was sick. She died five weeks ago." Before I could hang up she said, "Wait a minute, did you say your name was Paul?" "Yes." I answered. "Well, Sally left a message for you. She wrote it down in case you called. Let me read it to you." The note said, "Tell him there are other worlds to sing in. He'll know what I mean." I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant. Never underestimate the impression you may make on others. Whose life have you touched today? Why not pass this on? I just did.... Lifting you on eagle's wings. May you find the joy and peace you long for. Life is a journey ... NOT a guided tour. I loved this story and just had to pass it on. I hope you enjoy it and get a blessing from it just as I did.
Can I have a glass of salted coffee, please?
Mostly friends who are far away and who do not have the time to write you personal emails, send forwards to remind you that they are there for you and they do remember you.
I thought why not post the forwards I get. So whoever has more time can just spend here.
He met her on a party, she was so outstanding many guys chasing after her, while he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but agreed.
They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable. Suddenly he asked the waiter: would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee. Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but, still he put the salt in his coffee and drank it.
She asked him curiously: why you have this hobby? He replied: when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I like playing in the sea, could felt the taste of the sea, salty and bite, just like the taste of ! the salty coffee.
Now every time I have the salty coffee, I will think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there. Saying that, tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched. That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell he's homesick, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home..
Then she also started to talk, talked about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. that was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story. They continued to date. She found actually he was a man who meets all her demands: he was tolerant, kind hearted, warm, careful...he was such a good guy.
They got married and were living! the happy life...And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that's the was he liked.
After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: "My dearest, please forgive me, forgive me for my lie. This was the only lie I said to you----the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that. I didn't want to hurt you. Now I'm dying, I am afraid of nothing..... so I tell you the truth: I never liked the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste. but I have ! the salty coffee for my whole life. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, I still want to know you and have you for my life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again. Her tears made the letter totally wet. Someday, someone asked her: what's the taste of salty coffee? She replied.
Do read it and try to solve:::
Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers.
One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years,tried to board the bus,
but he didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came
under the bus and died on the spot. Angry passengers took the conductor to
the police station, who in turn took him to the court.
The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital
punishment.He was taken to the electrocution chamber. There was a single
chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of
the room.
The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given
to him. But to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set
him free, and he returned to his profession.
After a few months, this time, a good looking middle aged woman tried to
board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus.
Unfortunately, this time also,the good looking middle aged woman came under
the bus and died on the spot. Again angry passengers took him to the police
station, who in turn took him to the court. The judge took one look at the
conductor and gave him capital punishment.
The Bus conductor was taken to the same electrocution chamber where there
was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one
corner of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current
was given to him. This time also to everyone's amazement, he survived. The
judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.
A couple of months later, an elderly gentleman tried to board the bus. This
time the Bus conductor, remembering his earlier experiences, stopped the
bus. Unfortunately the elderly gentleman slipped and died due to his
injuries. The conductor was taken to
the police station and then to the court, to the same judge. Though he
hadn't done anything wrong, but considering his past record the judge
decided to set an example and gave him capital punishment.
The Bus conductor was again taken to the same electrocution chamber where
there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel
at one corner of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage
current was given to him. This time he died instantly !!!!!!!!!!!
The question is why didn't he die on the first two occasions, but died
instantly the third time?? Try to solve it yourselves. This is rather
interesting and answer is perfectly logical. If necessary read the puzzle
once again. Still if you can't, then look below.........
think hard
Answer:
During the first two times, the conductor was a Bad Conductor, therefore
electricity didn't pass through him. But during the third time, he was a
good conductor, electricity passed through him freely and he
died!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
